Random Thoughts on Ending Well (for Brad Ray)

I started to write this post over the weekend and entitle it "Epitaph." That sounded a bit morbid so I didn't continue, but it is on my mind this week. I think my trip to NYC left me in a daze as I saw thousands of people hurrying here and there. I wanted to stop them and ask where they were going, what they were doing and what was important to them. Ask my children about it ~ they were not impressed. :-) I am reminded of it again as my nephew, Brad, turns 21 today. Turning 21 is quite a milestone. It is one of those rites of passage - now considered an "official" adult, many previously unlegal things are lawful to do. But that is such a superficial passage to adulthood. I remember being asked when I was in my 20's what I would want my epitaph to read at the end of my life. I love to walk through old cemetaries and read the epitaphs written on stone. They often speak of a life well lived and a person well loved. One of my favorite gravemarkers is in the town where I lived until jr high and it is the[place I still refer to as "going home" when we visit. In Covington, Indiana there is a stone decorated as a watermelon that simply says, "Sam." It is not hard to figure that Sam sold watermelons (which are especially delicious in that part of the country along with the muskmelons [ like cantelope]). There are others that say "loving wife and mom" "served his country well" ~ you've seen them. Ummm ~ what do I want my epitaph to be?
I heard a sermon as a young adult that really got my attention. The preacher asked us to tell him what we thought about when we heard the names of these people from the Bible ~ Rahab (harlot) - yet she is listed in Hebrews 11 as a heroine of faith ~ David (Bathsheba) - yet he is listed as someone close to God's heart ~ Moses - (Red Sea, leading children to the Promised land) ~ yet he is not allowed to enter the Promised Land for disobeying God when he struck the rock. There were many more mentioned but the preacher's point was that we are often remembered for the choices we make when we are young (i.e. Rahab and David). It challenged me to make wise decisions as a young adult.
My desire is to have lived a life that makes a difference. I will never be one whose name is well-known outside my circle of influence, but I can still be someone who strives to make a difference. I want the time spent on this earth to mean something. So many look at their years as a time to "grab all the gusto" because then we die. But the truth is that we have eternity ahead of us and a very short time here on earth. I still want to write a book, see other parts of the world, encourage young people to choose a life for Christ; but most of all I want to just make a difference in the lives I interact with each day. Seems somewhat benign in words, but when I think about it a passion wells up in my heart.
I have a quote at the bottom of my emails that pretty well sums up the idea of making a difference. I apologize to the author ~ when I read it no name was attached. "Live today to the fullest because tomorrow is not promised. What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others....." Hey, that wouldn't be a bad epitaph, would it!? One other quote from a show called "Brooklyn Bridge" that was on several years ago, Marion Ross played a Jewish grandmother. She told her grandson that "one can make a difference, but two can make a miracle." I am always looking for others to join me in making a difference. But, that is probably best saved for another journal entry.
Brad, hope you have a wonderful 21st birthday and that today is the day you choose to live YOUR life making a difference.

Home

Home ~ it is good to go away because coming home reminds me of why I love home. Home for me is not the house we live in. Home is sitting down at the kitchen table with a glass of iced tea or a cup of hot coffee and talking with Pete and/or our children. The topics of conversation vary from our family to the farm to what needs to be purchased at the grocery store as well as a myriad of other topics. I love to learn what they are thinking and planning and dreaming. Pete and Renee came in today for a visit after getting home last night from their month long trip to NYC. We looked at slide shows on their computer and talked about their plans for Bulgaria. We talked about God's work in our lives and the lives of others. I cherish these conversations. I would briefly think of "this or that" that needed to be done today and then remind myself that the "this or that" would be there when I got up from the table, but these precious conversations could not be recaptured. I often think of the passage in the Bible where Mary goes to speak with Elizabeth and after their conversation the Bible says that "Mary treasured all of these things in her heart." I have many such conversations treasured in my heart. Ummmm ~ home ~ it's just good and today was very good!

New York City

Visiting New York City has been a somewhat surreal experience.  It is something that I have dreamed of doing since I was a young girl.  It is funny to visit a place that has only been experienced through newspaper, TV, films, and my imagination.  There are those feelings of having been here before but realizing the deja vu was from a picture or movie. Taking in all of the sights, smells and sounds of this overwhelming place is unfathomable.  This is home for millions of people.  The Statue of Liberty is something they see everyday and a trip to the MET or Central Park can be a Sunday afternoon outing.  For me it is all magical.  It was so fun to see the minutemen at F.A.O. Schwartz and the big piano from the movie "Big" with Tom Hanks.  A ride through Central Park in a horse and buggy was thrilling.  Walking from Times Square to Central Park and back again left my feet sore and blistered but worth every "ouch."   The day spent beginning at the Statue of Liberty, then Ellis Island and finally Ground Zero stirred emotions that were unexpected.  Meals in Flushing and Little Italy ~ delicious.  A morning up at 4 a.m. and to Rockefeller Center for the "Today" show with my kids was too much fun and the surprising free coffee and bagels before the show appreciated.  We were second in line.  We brought home bags with towels, hats, etc. from Expedia.  Handshakes with Matt Lauer, Hoda Kotbe and Kathy Lee Gifford and standing next to Lenny were memory makers. Yummy baked goods from Magnolia Bakery ummm ummm good ~ the smells in the bakery were as delicious as the muffins.  Shopping, shopping and more shopping (not buying) from H&M, Toys R Us, 9 story Macy's, and on and on and on.  Subways, street peddlers, hot dog stands,  Harlem Music & Jazz festival at a nearby park, quiet reflections in the courtyard on Sunday, a "soft" pretzel from a stand that immediately went in the trash (dry, cold, yuck), NY style pizza and garlic knots, a wonderful hamburger at a place called "Toast," time with our children and friend, bus rides, different languages everywhere, crowded streets, throngs of people, unfamiliar sights and sounds, friendly people, distant people, people, people and more people.  So proud of these (our) grown children who are passionate about their faith, their family and their country.  Great times and still a day and a half to go!

The Adventure Begins

Blogging is an interesting phenomenon. I've read a few that have left me wondering why such personal thoughts would be shared in such a public forum. Yet somehow it seems to give the writer a release to express their thoughts about their current situation, feelings, and ideas no matter how private they may be. This blogspot will not be one filled with the most intimate details of my life, but I do enjoy writing. A few years ago I wrote an article for the local paper called "Hangin" By A Thread." That title pretty well sums up most days of my life. I like to plan ahead but often find myself in a "monitor and adjust" modus operindi and I've learned that it's ok (for me). So, I'm excited to have this place to journal. Thoughts have already started filling my brain, but Jenn is waiting for the computer. I am excited to have written my first blogging paragraph ~ so the adventure begins.